where do you go when you don’t know whom to trust?

My life
is a public one
Its ok…
this is the way I designed it

but this constant open space
is often a bombardment of opinions

too much
for me
to feel in this skin
to allow myself to be so open
and then get caught off guard by yet another person
who takes advantage of the precious vulnerable healing space
you help create

can we breathe in this moment
do you have to fill each second with a point of view
a should or should not…

polite suggestions
sometimes feel like honey filled daggers
that chip at the soul

it takes much courage to share such vulnerability…
it takes a lot of energy to hold it together…
and your words…
so easily stab the beauty that is right in front of you

how can you expect me to trust you
if you don’t even allow my sentence to finish before you start adding your uninvited point of view?

Maybe I just wanted to be witnessed…

how can anything change if it is always being observed
how can anything change with your constant complaining
how can we create more beauty if you feel compelled to keep pointing out what is wrong
how can I share my dreams with you when you insist on being a realist

I know you mean well
I know you love me
but you are not really loving me

you are loving a version of me you wish to create
or manipulate

and I am my own woman…

some space is needed
lots of space sometimes

and this is how I find balance
I need to go within
and spend a lot of time there

moving slow
being gentle
and practicing lots of self care and “I love you” mantras

this outside world is beautiful and rough
and the only way I can survive
is by detaching…
even from what seems the most sacred to me…

no one is exempt

In this quiet space
I can begin to breathe again
I can feel my holiness
with the seen and unseen
and I start to feel safe…


  • ra lil wolf

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