Cause I’m just holding on for tonight… Chandelier by Sia

“If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.” ~ Brene’ Brown

Before I continue, I would love to say, Thank you Sia!!! Your courage inspires me! This song is powerful…

Many people only think of the gloss, of how good it must be to wear crazy expensive dresses, drive an expensive car, live in a mansion, and/or how good it must feel to be “partying with the rock stars…”

But those of us that dedicate our lives to producing and creating television and music know that there are great perks, but also some dark realities and steep sacrifices you make to play. I thank the angels that my experiences were mild in comparison to my brothers and sisters in Hollywood or Mainstream Music Industry.

Nevertheless, I gained an insight… an understanding of how the industry works because of my experience working on hundreds of Music Television Productions for MTV, VH-1, & BET Networks and also because of natural intuition and empathy, and also because of stories I have heard.

I have witnessed a recurring pattern, many celebrities start out with such vibrant youth, energy, and innocence,

And many end up empty, exhausted, disconnected, depressed, shamed, filled with anxiety, and drugged up… It’s almost as if “life” is being sucked out of them…

Sia’s song Chandelier has moved me in a way no song has done in a very long time. As a woman and as a professional in the Music Television Production Industry, I can see and feel so much in her song and video.

Primarily, this song strikes a powerful chord in me… It touches upon a natural sadness I feel living in a world that is dictated by the masculine portrayals of youth, beauty, sexuality, sensuality, “what’s cool”, what’s considered attractive, and what is expected of you… It feels like a prison.

Trying to keep up with the the “scene” feels cool at first… and then the realization sets in… It’s fake. It’s an illusion. And It’s maddening…

Is everyone wearing a mask and playing a role?

Well quite frankly, I’m tired of living in a fake world and pretending to be fake. I think many of us feel like we are “swinging on that chandelier”… And even more than that, many of us are ready to take the leap and fly!!! It’s time to be real with what is…

At first upon watching the video, I felt disturbed by the image of the lil girl dancing around in a nude outfit.

I sat for a moment to contemplate that further.

I realized that it bothered me because the lil girl looked naked and she is dancing to a mature song and making some haunting gestures.

I did some research and learned that the video concept was the idea of Sia and not only did she co-direct the video, she hand picked the dancer herself.

OK… now I am curious.

I do a lil more digging and learn that she recreated her video for the Ellen show. I also learned that she refuses to show her face. And has been photographed with a paper bag over her head.

I ask myself… Why?

Is this some media stunt to get attention or is this a way of protesting the main stream music industry?

After some more research, I learn that Sia struggles with major anxiety…

Is this why she performed on the Ellen Show with her back to the audience?

More research seems to indicate, there may be a bigger meaning.

I then realize that this new information has shifted my initial response to the video. Perhaps I was too quick to judge…

After watching the video several times here is my conclusion…

It is brilliant and fearlessly vulnerable. I think it’s meant to be uncomfortable. because it is.

And her choice in casting “Dance Mom’s Maddie Ziegler,  the young girl dancing around in a nude outfit…  What does this mean?

While I don’t know the answers… I can take a guess.  It doesn’t take a genius to see that young innocent girls (and boys) are preyed upon in Hollywood and in the Music Industry.  And we keep seeing younger people over exposing their flesh and behaving in very sexual ways…  for example Miley Cyrus?

It’s all about sex and sexiness…   Observe

While we may envy and wish we could be living “large” like them… Ask yourself… “Do most of them look or feel happy to you?”  Maybe at first… but then as years pass by.. Look at them again.  Observe.

I could be reaching here… and my apologies if I offend anyone… But when I see so many of these Celebrities,  they feel so sad to me.  😦

People have watched this video and are very upset and disturbed to see a young girl dancing and being portrayed this way

If this disturbs you, Do something about it!!  As consumers we vote with our money.  If we keep buying music and movies that keep devaluing us and portraying us as sexual objects, then we WILL see more of this. 

And this is why I can appreciate this video by Sia…  Because she is raising awareness.  Because her video is creating questions and conversations, and debate.  And these need to happen before REAL change can happen in other places.

The audience is given a new perspective…

we see a private version of the “party girl” most people never see

the party girl that has been “stripped” down and broken down and is awakening to the fact that the “party scene” is a fake scene. There is no real love there.

We see the young dancer interpret/channel Sia’s words in a beautiful, fascinating, wild, and haunting way.

but that’s not all,

we also see…

a girl who is fed up

a girl who is numb from all the partying, drinking, and pretending

a girl who’s barely holding on

a girl going between worlds… the real one and the one she escapes to

a girl who wants to break free

a girl wrestling with shame

a girl who feels invisible

a girl asking for help

a girl who is desperate

a girl who feels alone

a girl who has been taken advantage of

a girl who is tired of performing.

a girl who wants the world to SEE

IS THERE A BIGGER MESSAGE HERE?

oh yeah, lots of them.

And this only creates more questions for me.

And one that is too disturbing for me to admit…

My heart breaks… because I feel the answer in my soul.

Thank you Sia for such a powerful expression. My prayers and love are with you sister. My prayers and love are with all women and men who can identify with this song.

May the angels protect you.

i love you,

-la shamanessa

See below for the Sia Chandelier Song she recreated for the Ellen Show as well as the lyrics

“Chandelier”

Party girls don’t get hurt
Can’t feel anything, when will I learn
I push it down, push it down
I’m the one “for a good time call”
Phone’s blowin’ up, they’re ringin’ my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drinkThrow em back, till I lose countI’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist
I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelierAnd I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
Help me, I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonightSun is up, I’m a mess
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drinkThrow em back till I lose countI’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist
I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelierAnd I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
Help me, I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonight

 

~ La Shamanessa, Rosangel Perez
Visionary & Radio Host of Cafecito Break Podcast: http://www.cafecitobreak.com/
“Empowering the Voice of the Awakening Woman”

2 thoughts on “Cause I’m just holding on for tonight… Chandelier by Sia”

  1. Not only are they showing a girl dancing but they are showing a girl dancing using the absolute very latest developments in modern/avant garde dance and philosophy of aesthetics. Whoever her teacher was and whoever the choreographer is are geniuses in touch with the spirit of the age we are living in. It’s unbelievably powerful and touches anyone who sees it no matter what they say in public about their outrage at the girl’s attire. Barishnakov learned the sliding the toes on the floor thing from Gregory Hines and the rest of the dance was inspired by all of the avant garde dancers up until now such as Martha Graham et al. Those people were looking for truth and beauty in art and only touched on it in brief moments of epiphany. This video is the spirit of the divine descended into the material world. A proto-spirituality not having regressed into exoticism, orientalism, or unconscious primitivism.I’ve NEVER seen anything more authentic or original. Absolutely inspired. I want to kiss the feet of everyone involved in making it.

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